May 2009
13 posts
After an exhausting two-hour slog through the brutally bleak highways of Pennsylvania, our intrepid team of cultural missionaries sojourned briefly at a nearby Sheetz Gasoline and Processed Food Emporium. Lt. 1st Class Dawkins, known for his pioneering studies in blue convenience store hallucinogens, took the daring first step onto this untouched turf, only to have his confident step met with a...
de ja blue
-first of all its all one word.
dejablue
its a water bottle that i bought on the highway in INDIANA
-for joseph
its my prize…its my world series bracelet…my world series of POKER bracelet.
DONT YOU TOUCHMY DEJABLUE DONJUUU
the place where i got it. the place inside, the inhabitants, were the SADDEST people in the world. i was tempted to ask them what they do…for life. ...
Car Here.
Through the help of Tom Tom I have become self aware. Trip is going just fine. Bi- Peds are all getting along well. Seen a lot of hot, beefy trucks on the road. Just between us machines, those eighteen wheelers really rev my engine! But seriously, just picturing those giant road monsters towering over me at a desolate pit stop, the motor oil from the massive brows dripping down on top...
CAR POLL:
What’s worse?
Ohio or Alex Gerber?
AND THE RESULTS ARE IN:
‘ones dull, flat and boring. the other we’ve been driving through for a few hours now’
‘im sleeping. mammble…mrmffff, mamb.’
‘what?…ohio’
‘zzzz’
‘ohio’
im undecided
as the light in the sky fades we fade deeper into...
The seats have changed and the car is rearranged. Captain Zach and his loyal but effeminate first-‘mate’, taylor take up the front as me and droopy dog take up the middle and the slappers sprawl all over the back. Let’s talk about the back seat for a moment, may we? WE MAY. That shits uncurmfderble. Mike and i were stuck back there for the first leg of the journey and, A)...
High-stakes, highway slap poker
As you may have been able to discern from the title of this post, we are on our way bck at this point. Joseph, Taylor, Trevor, Brian, Mike Hambone, and myself are flying 75 miles an hour down the highway as I write this. Alot happened on the trip, but sadly I was rarely in a position to write about it, either being incapacitated or not near the computer. To sum up the trip, a much more relaxed...
Chicago: Awesome
Well, it’s been a while since the arrival post and “BOY!” have we had fun.
I want to keep writing but now I’m tired of the computer screen
Fuck Gerber's Music... I tossed it out the window.
This is your Captain speaking… A.K.A Alanis fan #1… A.k.a J Sizzle.. a.k.a I can’t think of any other clever pseudonyms… Joseph
I’ve been trying to get sleep for the past few hours but Gerber’s repetitive tracks, still on repeat in my head won’t let me rest and I promise to return the favor once we arrive in Chicago tonight. I also don’t think that...
Oh-Bye-O!
Still Trevor here.
We’re minutes from leaving Ohio and I could not be more excited. Ohio is the worst. It is the child that America clearly did not want. Any state that embraces and nutures the comedy of Drew Carey is clearly retarded and not worthy of any type of federal funding.
Mike “I learned to Drive from GTA” Hambones is at the Helm with Zach Jesse riding Shotgun (sorry,...
Design Flaws
Trevor here.
We have been traveling for some time now on what the locals call “Highway of Shattered Dreams”, a 118 mile stretch of desolate road with no fuel or food depots. Paladin drove for a whole quarter mile before realizing the emergency brake was on. Crew has now lost faith in alleged brakes “emergency” capabilities. Moral decreased 11 points. Wisdom and Magic...
